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full of angst ∞

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ok. I think i am very bad. I do not feel close to my family at all.

I tried my best to communicate but i guess it didnt work out.

This probably happened at a very young age, thus when i grew up i feel so weird.

I dun dare to share with them secrets nor confide in them.

I used to be v close to them whereby i will share with them what i do in sch, wat i eat, who are my friends etc.

But ever since quite some time ago, after quarrels here and dere, i stopped doing that.

Now, i hate to say this but we seem so far apart now.

On the surface to ppl , we may seem normal and alright but deep beneath its not the case.

I also duno why i have the courage to post this up.

Its not to let ppl know oh i have such a sour relationship, i jus need to get things off my chest.

I am going army on sat.

Maybe this is a good start.

When i look at others whose brothers or sisters are on close terms and their parents reallie close to them, i feel envious.

Yup i mus agree my parents dote on me, they provide me with the financial strength to buy stuffs. But sharing secrets? nahh.

People say that communication is the key to building good relationships.

I have alwyas believed in that.

It is so weird i can do that with many others but not with my own family.

Is my problem right?

I think the number of quarrels and unhappiness we have > happiness.

I think i am a failure at family relationships. : (

A levels results arre coming out on friday. To be frank i am reallie stressed abt it.

I just dun wan to disappoint myself and of cuz my parents. I reallie tried my best.

And now there is this family shit here.

Come on God save me.

I am full of angst now.

P.S. I am just typing how i feel, if u dun like it dun read.

Bye.

Valentine's Day 2011 ∞

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Wishing everyone a Happy Valentine's Day as well as Happy Friendship Day!!

Valentine day is definitely not only for lovers but also a great time for catching up with yr friends!!

Met Lingying for dinner after work. Has been quite long since we last chatted! Quite awwesome night i must say! hahaha. She make good fake flowers! HAHAHA!

Jus got home not too long ago too. Tired out.

Tml is last day at IPTO. Hope the buffet lunch is awwesome! : ))) CAnt wait!

Lastly, HAPPY SWEET 18 TO VALENLYN CHUA SI HARN. :)))!

2011!! ∞

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I haven blogged for like 2.5 months. This shall be my first post from 2011.

Well, many things happened within these months, both happy as well as unhappy ones.

I managed to survive on 2 jobs! One as a Pastry Kitchen Assistant at Conrad Hotel! and the other is admin at Public Trustee URA. Many ppl said i was crazy and i received many negative critics both from my family and some others. But who cares. I choose what i want man! I have alr ended my hotel work, and i am about to end my admin work on tuesday bah. AHAH cause there will be a CNY buffet celebration for staff! AWesome can! When i came there was a christmas party! Now when i go dere will be cny celebration! so awwesome! HAHAH.

On a lighter note, i managed to keep in close contact with my secondary school friends and JC friends. Many outings/ dinner sessions and they were <3!> However, i have lost a good friend too! If you happen to chance upon this blog, I would jus like to say, i am sorry.

I also attended orientation 2011 last week, the food was nt bad LOL! And the pretty meet ups with the fellow 2010 OGLs and SCs was great too. Oh yea! LAst time dancing mass dance and fun dance!! Damn fun la! ahahah I think i reallie like PJC a lot!!! Went back to visit my chers most whom said i changed a lot! Do I ?? AHHA.

CNY celebration wass a blast for me too...speaking of which! I reallie need to exercise LOL! Jus ran 2.4 jus now. Felt so cui. Shitz how to survive army next month! HAAHHAHA! Many of my friends have gone in alr. I wonder how are they naoo man.

I couldnt rmb all the nitty gritty details but i guess these are the ones which i can summarise in this post. Today i slpt for almost 15 hours with intervals in betweeen. I guess i let my mind went wild for a moment and jus felt that life was aimlesss all of a sudden. So foolish of me. 20 more days to army! ITS time to train!!! AHHAAH! Kinda egggcited for it too!

I guess the next start of my life has jus begun only.

Its valentine day tml! sooo enjoy everyone!!

OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!! ∞

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See my title aboveee. A levels is finally over. yippie hurarays!!

Have been busy going out these few days but i realised it can be damn boring too. Every morning during As period, i wake up feeling mundane cuz all i do is study, den eat den slp. It has practically become a routine period for me already. Nao when As end. omg i jus duno what to do for the whole day. Yea i have waited for this day for damn long already. But duno why when As ended on thursday, felt kinda sian.

Well, the class guys celebrated eehong's bdae on tues, we went pizza hut to eat. OMG i tell u the cheese in the pizza is damn scary, i swear never to eat cheese from now on. LOL.

Den after bio mcq ytd, we went to jude house for ps3/ wii session! DAmn fun but damn tiring. HAHA it was my first time playing wii though and im a complete noob at that. LOL. At night we went to mr lim's house for steamboat! Thanks mr lim for the kind invitation. His house is damn spacious lo, got one corner can medidate one. But halfwayy thru steamboat, sth happened.

A BLACKOUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. LOL

Mr lim was kinda flustered for one second. LOL

Overall it was good. Went home around 10 45 with julian's father fetching me liang and da. Thankks.

inside joke of the night from amanda. " Two fatty bom bom walkin on street. when onlookers accidentally touch you they feel oily. WTF sia.

yayyyyyyy today's gonna be another fun day. AHAHHA. Gonnna have my long awaited koi from valynnnnn later!!!! whooooooos. At night got movie marathon at PJC . Yippie shiokkkk.

last 3 days : ( ∞

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hmm. back to blogging again.

Today marks the end of the A levels for the physics students. Well grats for them. 3 more days and it'll be my turn too. I have this sickennin feeling within me that tell me to relax now. hmm but after today's practice mcq, i know my standard arent there yet. So frustrating. Well, i think if not for the compulsory mcq practice i guess i will still be snoring somewhere at home. But its damn sian.

damn siannnnnnn.

on a lighter note, visited IT fair at expo with julian ytd. was an eyeopener for me though. The things were pretty cheap. And its hellload some packed. keep kena pushed. hate the crowd sia. Saw quite a number of pj friends too like jessie, melody, chun kit etc while walking. I also visited Valenlyn and amanda's booth! Couldnt recognise them LOL/ They reallie look like professionals! Hahha. If i have a chance i oso wanna work at IT fair next year. Pay is Srsly good!

Haiz, Tml is just gonna be a mundane day. Totally hate it. : (

kay i shall be a hardworking boy and go practise tys nao.

Ciaos!

Insomnia ∞

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sian, couldnt get to sleep properly at night these few days

mind caught up with many stuffs.

feeling so confused all of a sudden.

if only god can give me an answer in my slp, i wouldnt be so frustrated.

kay i shouldnt think so much.

probably a good night slp will allow me to forget all my troubles.

these few days been a total nightmare.

feel super sick of studying too. But still mus continue.

kay i go slp nao.

now is 230 am. god plssssssssssssss direct me a way : (

pissed ttm! ∞

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i am very angry. Very pissed. Broiled anger. whole day kept inside me, now to let it out.

jus got home not too long ago. i shall blog. i always blog when i am unhappy!

today i woke up happily going to school.

when i got to sch den i walk into class den they told me wat happen.

i was stunned.

i sit down, recollecting the moments if i have said those stuff.

nope nothing.

The only thing i rmb is during a random conversation i mentioned about my cher not havin a lot of lessons with us during sch hours cuz got a lot of stuff on.

yeah thats what i said wat.

why in a random chat oso can lead to the teacher knowing?

human beings are such sophisticated complex creatures.

They are also so scary, they can misinterpret your words, your actions, into sth else which you fuckingly dun have that intention.

i dun think i did anything wrong. i din badmouth my cher, i din say anything bad. i am jus stating a pure fact. and its a random conversation!

if u know me, i am someone who hates being accused of sth that i din do.

super pissed.

Spoiled my entire good day! sheng qi!

Hey there I'm Jasper, 18 this year, studying in Pioneer Junior College. I like my school a lot, especially close friends and ties which i have forged in my 2 years in pjc. I will not forget them. My teachers are awesome too, each and everyone of them. I only have 1 goal now, do well for my 2010 A levels. May god bless me for the final hurdle! ∇ ARCHIVES April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 November 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 February 2011 Affiliates Cuz they're awesome 09SO2 Amanda Cai lin ChewYen Christine Cindy Demas Enci Haiwei Hannah Isabelle Jason Ong Julian JoyLynn Li Ping Qian Mei tzehock VALYNNNNNN Wan ying Warren Weijing Youjing Zoe © Layout by 16thday, colour codes from Colourlovers, profile icon from RVV. full of angst ∞ back to top? Posted on Sunday, February 27, 2011 at Sunday, February 27, 2011 ok. I think i am very bad. I do not feel close to my family at all. I tried my best to communicate but i guess it didnt work out. This probably happened at a very young age, thus when i grew up i feel so weird. I dun dare to share with them secrets nor confide in them. I used to be v close to them whereby i will share with them what i do in sch, wat i eat, who are my friends etc. But ever since quite some time ago, after quarrels here and dere, i stopped doing that. Now, i hate to say this but we seem so far apart now. On the surface to ppl , we may seem normal and alright but deep beneath its not the case. I also duno why i have the courage to post this up. Its not to let ppl know oh i have such a sour relationship, i jus need to get things off my chest. I am going army on sat. Maybe this is a good start. When i look at others whose brothers or sisters are on close terms and their parents reallie close to them, i feel envious. Yup i mus agree my parents dote on me, they provide me with the financial strength to buy stuffs. But sharing secrets? nahh. People say that communication is the key to building good relationships. I have alwyas believed in that. It is so weird i can do that with many others but not with my own family. Is my problem right? I think the number of quarrels and unhappiness we have > happiness. I think i am a failure at family relationships. : ( A levels results arre coming out on friday. To be frank i am reallie stressed abt it. I just dun wan to disappoint myself and of cuz my parents. I reallie tried my best. And now there is this family shit here. Come on God save me. I am full of angst now. P.S. I am just typing how i feel, if u dun like it dun read. Bye. Valentine's Day 2011 ∞ back to top? Posted on Tuesday, February 15, 2011 at Tuesday, February 15, 2011 Wishing everyone a Happy Valentine's Day as well as Happy Friendship Day!! Valentine day is definitely not only for lovers but also a great time for catching up with yr friends!! Met Lingying for dinner after work. Has been quite long since we last chatted! Quite awwesome night i must say! hahaha. She make good fake flowers! HAHAHA! Jus got home not too long ago too. Tired out. Tml is last day at IPTO. Hope the buffet lunch is awwesome! : ))) CAnt wait! Lastly, HAPPY SWEET 18 TO VALENLYN CHUA SI HARN. :)))! 2011!! ∞ back to top? Posted on Sunday, February 13, 2011 at Sunday, February 13, 2011 I haven blogged for like 2.5 months. This shall be my first post from 2011. Well, many things happened within these months, both happy as well as unhappy ones. I managed to survive on 2 jobs! One as a Pastry Kitchen Assistant at Conrad Hotel! and the other is admin at Public Trustee URA. Many ppl said i was crazy and i received many negative critics both from my family and some others. But who cares. I choose what i want man! I have alr ended my hotel work, and i am about to end my admin work on tuesday bah. AHAH cause there will be a CNY buffet celebration for staff! AWesome can! When i came there was a christmas party! Now when i go dere will be cny celebration! so awwesome! HAHAH. On a lighter note, i managed to keep in close contact with my secondary school friends and JC friends. Many outings/ dinner sessions and they were <3!> However, i have lost a good friend too! If you happen to chance upon this blog, I would jus like to say, i am sorry. I also attended orientation 2011 last week, the food was nt bad LOL! And the pretty meet ups with the fellow 2010 OGLs and SCs was great too. Oh yea! LAst time dancing mass dance and fun dance!! Damn fun la! ahahah I think i reallie like PJC a lot!!! Went back to visit my chers most whom said i changed a lot! Do I ?? AHHA. CNY celebration wass a blast for me too...speaking of which! I reallie need to exercise LOL! Jus ran 2.4 jus now. Felt so cui. Shitz how to survive army next month! HAAHHAHA! Many of my friends have gone in alr. I wonder how are they naoo man. I couldnt rmb all the nitty gritty details but i guess these are the ones which i can summarise in this post. Today i slpt for almost 15 hours with intervals in betweeen. I guess i let my mind went wild for a moment and jus felt that life was aimlesss all of a sudden. So foolish of me. 20 more days to army! ITS time to train!!! AHHAAH! Kinda egggcited for it too! I guess the next start of my life has jus begun only. Its valentine day tml! sooo enjoy everyone!! OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!! ∞ back to top? Posted on Friday, December 03, 2010 at Friday, December 03, 2010 See my title aboveee. A levels is finally over. yippie hurarays!! Have been busy going out these few days but i realised it can be damn boring too. Every morning during As period, i wake up feeling mundane cuz all i do is study, den eat den slp. It has practically become a routine period for me already. Nao when As end. omg i jus duno what to do for the whole day. Yea i have waited for this day for damn long already. But duno why when As ended on thursday, felt kinda sian. Well, the class guys celebrated eehong's bdae on tues, we went pizza hut to eat. OMG i tell u the cheese in the pizza is damn scary, i swear never to eat cheese from now on. LOL. Den after bio mcq ytd, we went to jude house for ps3/ wii session! DAmn fun but damn tiring. HAHA it was my first time playing wii though and im a complete noob at that. LOL. At night we went to mr lim's house for steamboat! Thanks mr lim for the kind invitation. His house is damn spacious lo, got one corner can medidate one. But halfwayy thru steamboat, sth happened. A BLACKOUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. LOL Mr lim was kinda flustered for one second. LOL Overall it was good. Went home around 10 45 with julian's father fetching me liang and da. Thankks. inside joke of the night from amanda. " Two fatty bom bom walkin on street. when onlookers accidentally touch you they feel oily. WTF sia. yayyyyyyy today's gonna be another fun day. AHAHHA. Gonnna have my long awaited koi from valynnnnn later!!!! whooooooos. At night got movie marathon at PJC . Yippie shiokkkk. last 3 days : ( ∞ back to top? Posted on Monday, November 29, 2010 at Monday, November 29, 2010 hmm. back to blogging again. Today marks the end of the A levels for the physics students. Well grats for them. 3 more days and it'll be my turn too. I have this sickennin feeling within me that tell me to relax now. hmm but after today's practice mcq, i know my standard arent there yet. So frustrating. Well, i think if not for the compulsory mcq practice i guess i will still be snoring somewhere at home. But its damn sian. damn siannnnnnn. on a lighter note, visited IT fair at expo with julian ytd. was an eyeopener for me though. The things were pretty cheap. And its hellload some packed. keep kena pushed. hate the crowd sia. Saw quite a number of pj friends too like jessie, melody, chun kit etc while walking. I also visited Valenlyn and amanda's booth! Couldnt recognise them LOL/ They reallie look like professionals! Hahha. If i have a chance i oso wanna work at IT fair next year. Pay is Srsly good! Haiz, Tml is just gonna be a mundane day. Totally hate it. : ( kay i shall be a hardworking boy and go practise tys nao. Ciaos! Insomnia ∞ back to top? Posted on Saturday, November 20, 2010 at Saturday, November 20, 2010 sian, couldnt get to sleep properly at night these few days mind caught up with many stuffs. feeling so confused all of a sudden. if only god can give me an answer in my slp, i wouldnt be so frustrated. kay i shouldnt think so much. probably a good night slp will allow me to forget all my troubles. these few days been a total nightmare. feel super sick of studying too. But still mus continue. kay i go slp nao. now is 230 am. god plssssssssssssss direct me a way : ( pissed ttm! ∞ back to top? Posted on Friday, October 22, 2010 at Friday, October 22, 2010 i am very angry. Very pissed. Broiled anger. whole day kept inside me, now to let it out. jus got home not too long ago. i shall blog. i always blog when i am unhappy! today i woke up happily going to school. when i got to sch den i walk into class den they told me wat happen. i was stunned. i sit down, recollecting the moments if i have said those stuff. nope nothing. The only thing i rmb is during a random conversation i mentioned about my cher not havin a lot of lessons with us during sch hours cuz got a lot of stuff on. yeah thats what i said wat. why in a random chat oso can lead to the teacher knowing? human beings are such sophisticated complex creatures. They are also so scary, they can misinterpret your words, your actions, into sth else which you fuckingly dun have that intention. i dun think i did anything wrong. i din badmouth my cher, i din say anything bad. i am jus stating a pure fact. and its a random conversation! if u know me, i am someone who hates being accused of sth that i din do. super pissed. Spoiled my entire good day! sheng qi!